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Columns March 11, 2007
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That Mascot Made Me Suffer!
The game was in full swing.

The Buckaroos and the Dunkers.

The two women were busy munching on potato chips and following the action.

Sheila spoke loudly over the noise of the crowd.

"Thanks for inviting me, Allison. Nothing like basketball to take my mind off my marriage."

"I'm sorry you're having trouble. By the way, how's your back?" Allison asked.

Sheila groaned. "Awful. I still have trouble lifting heavy objects."

The whistle blew.

A voice came over the speaker. "That's half-time, folks! And time for a little fun. Bernie the Mascot is looking for a partner to help him entertain the crowd. Maybe it will be your lucky night."

Turns out, it was Sheila's 'lucky' night. Suddenly, Bernie the Mascot was right in front of her.

"Ma'am, will you join me?"

Sheila tensed every muscle. "Forget it. I'm not making a fool of myself,"

Bernie the Mascot smiled to himself. "Some of them are so resistant! But they always have fun in the end."

Bernie grabbed Sheila's arm.

But Sheila's purse strap had fallen over the back of the seat. She was stuck to the seat. "AGHHHHH! You're hurting me!"

Suddenly the purse dislodged and Sheila flew onto the basketball court.

Bernie laughed in delight. "I knew she'd change her mind."

He grabbed Sheila's arm and dragged her to center court.

Groaning in pain, she pulled away from the mascot and limped off the basketball court and into the legal court.

She sued Bernie and the Buckaroos for damages. "Constant pain, post traumatic tendonitis, can't lift heavy stuff," said the doctor's report.

"In need of anti-anxiety medication. Feels her privacy and dignity have been affected," said the psychologist's report.

In court, the jury awarded Sheila $50,000 dollars in damages.

"Too little," complained Sheila.

"Too much," complained Bernie and the Buckaroos.

So everybody trooped off to the higher court.

IN THE COURTROOM

Sheila nervously addressed the

court. "Your Honor, Bernie hurt me. $50,000 isn't enough. The humiliation and anxiety I suffered are serious injuries. The jury verdict is so low it's a miscarriage of justice."

Bernie and the Buckaroos jumped in. "The jury was crazy to award anything, let alone $50,000. This was a minor incident. It is not normal to get so upset. Sheila already had lots of related problems before this incident. We don't owe anything."

Should the court overturn the jury's award? YOU! Be The Judge. Then look below for the court's decision.

THE DECISION

"The jury's award of $50,000 stands," ordered the Judge. "It's not so low that there was a miscarriage of justice. And I disagree with Bernie and the Buckaroos' claim that no damages should have been awarded. There is no merit to the arguments of either side."


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