The new commandments
Rob Price

The summer vacation season is upon us, and many of us already are bracing for a road trip that involves miles of highways, expensive gasoline and, yes, traffic jams.

God help you if you're thinking about crossing the Canadian border this year. My wife and daughter and I drove home from a Canadian vacation last year, making great time around Toronto, then getting stuck in traffic for three hours on the Peace Bridge.

Of course, the problem with traffic jams on the Peace Bridge is that, while you're in them, GOD CAN'T HELP YOU.

The Vatican can, however: This week, in the spirit of dealing with truly earthly matters, the Holy See issued 10 commandments for good motoring behavior. The commandments are contained in a 36-page document called "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road."

I have not had the opportunity read the entire document; however, I googled "10 commandments for driving" and found a succinct list of the Vaticans' recommendations. They include:

+ "The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm."

+ "Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so."

And my favorite:

+ "Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin."

Have you ever visited Vatican City, or seen it on television? Notwithstanding the Popemobile, there aren't that many automobiles inside Vatican limits. On the other hand, step into downtown Rome and your chances of being crushed between a Ferrari and a Fiat rise immeasurably. New York City presents challenging driving conditions. Rome makes New York look like a Rotarians' picnic.

So there is a good local market for the Vatican's 10 commandments for driving. Not only that, on the eve of our summer travels, we should all pause and consider the Vatican's instructions.

Our own family vacations, for instance, have violated the Vatican's commandment against "mortal harm" in flagrant ways. Traditionally, we drive all night in an effort to make a 6 a.m. deadline for boarding a ferry from the mainland to an island. The last two hours of this eight-hour drive can be full of peril, as the driver (me) struggles to stay awake while everyone else snores.

This year, I may pull off the road and remind my family that Route 6 is "a means of communication," instead of a highway of death. Or I'll just wke my wife.

Since we will be traveling with our 18-year-old daughter, it also will be wise to consider the Vaticans' suggestion to advise "the young" not to drive when they are not in a "fitting condition." In my opinion, being 18 years old is by definition a disqualifying condition for safe driving. I know this, because I was 18 once - a long time ago, in a galaxy far away.

It's also important for all you SUV drivers to consider the Vatican's driving commandments. For instance, your headlights are higher than the headlights of sedans. At night, they shine directly into the eyes of oncoming sedan drivers, like me. This constitutes domineering behavior, since you blind us and cause us to slow down until the bright spots burning our retinas subside. I am glad the Vatican joins me in recognizing the original sin of SUV ownership.

Finally, a word to all you teenagers, few of whom read newspapers anyway. The Vatican has expressly warned against using your vehicle as an "occasion of sin." And just so we're all clear about this, a Vatican spokesperson said a car becomes "an occasion of sin" when it becomes "a place for sin." Anybody who doesn't understand what this is all about should just call me at my office.

Beyond this advice, the Vatican's 10 commandments for good driving embrace a moral code that existed long before automobiles. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is a succinct expression of that code; in modern terms, it means, come to a full stop at stop signs and let the other motorist proceed.

Also, don't speed. You may think you're a good driver, but your speeding increases the risk to other drivers.

Don't drive drunk. Duh.

And even when you're on Highway 6 and trying to make the morning ferry to Manitoulin Island, take it easy. Stop for a cup of coffee. Listen to the peepers. Enjoy watching the sun rising in the east.