Time for a chat
BY TRESA ERICKSON

Many parents dread them. Some even try to skip them. They are parent-teacher conferences, and depending upon your child's school, you may have to attend at least one conference, if not more, every year. Fortunately, parentteacher conferences are fairly short, usually 45 minutes or less. Because they are so short, it is important that you make the most of them. Here's how.

No matter how busy you may be, don't try to get out the conference or arrive late. In most schools, parent-teacher conferences are mandatory and the teacher will do whatever it takes to find a time for the conference that works for you. Leave for the conference early to ensure you arrive on time. If the conference is 30 minutes long and you arrive 10 minutes late, that is 10 minutes less that you will have to discuss your child's performance with their teacher. In all likelihood, the teacher will have another conference scheduled right after yours and you will not be able to stay later.

Come to the conference prepared. Look over your child's recent assignments and test scores, and know beforehand how they are doing. That way, you won't be taken aback by what the teacher has to say. Discuss school with your child. Find out how they think they are doing, what their favorite and least favorite subjects are, and what problems, if any, they are having. Write out a list of questions you have for the teacher and bring a pad and pen to make notes.

While at the conference, use your time wisely and be open minded to the teacher's suggestions, feedback and criticism. Ask your most important questions right away when the teacher has time to respond to them and don't get upset if their review of your child's performance is critical. No child is perfect and there are probably areas or skills in which most can improve. Remember, you are there to learn how your child is doing and what you can do at home to help them improve. Don't play the blame game and be sure to offer any insight about your child that may help the teacher enhance their learning.

End the conference with a summary of the steps you have agreed to try at home and leave as scheduled. Make certain that you and the teacher are on the same wavelength, and if your child is really struggling, arrange to meet with the teacher again to work out a long-term plan. Finally, find out how you can keep in contact with the teacher to monitor your child's progress and leave when your time is over. Don't linger and cause the teacher to fall behind schedule with other conferences.

After the conference, make sure you heed the teacher's suggestions and follow up on them. If you find that what you are doing at home is not working, don't hesitate to schedule another conference with the teacher to formulate a new plan of attack. It is your child's education after all, and the more help you give them, the more likely they are to succeed.