The surprise bridal shower
BY DORIS A. BLACK

Turn an ordinary bridal shower into a memorable occasion by surprising the bride with a party thrown by friends and family. The responsibility of arranging the bridal shower traditionally falls to the maid of honor but that doesn't mean she has to do it all. As a matter of fact, most other women in the bridal party, not to mention the mother of the bride, would probably be flattered if you asked them to help with the party.

Typically the party is held a couple of months before the wedding, which means the party planners need to make the arrangements even earlier. Today grooms are also invited to the shower, making it a couples party, so this is one of the first decisions the party planners need to make. Will it be a traditional party for the bride or a couple's party for both the bride and groom?

Generally speaking, the bridal shower attendees are members of the immediate family, close friends and bridal party members. Keep in mind that etiquette dictates that everyone invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding. When inviting guests, be sure to emphasize that the party is to be a surprise.

The shower, whether it is a couple's party or a traditional bridal shower, can be as formal or informal as you want. Set the tone in accordance with the bride's personality. If she is a blue jeans and beer type of girl, then an informal party would be appropriate. If, on the other hand, she's more a diamonds and designer suits woman, a more formal affair would be appropriate. The invitation should reflect want kind of party it is, so attendees will dress and behave accordingly.

The location of the shower is all-important in setting the mood for the party. A backyard party may be perfect for an informal bridal shower or a local restaurant of casual dining may work just as well. For the formal bridal shower, think upscale and you can't go wrong.

Many bridal shower planners include games in the festivities. However, not everyone enjoys this silly ritual and often sends regrets if they know games are on the schedule. If you must have them, keep it to one or two short ones. After all, the focus should be on the bride.

Having a themed shower is a good idea. Themes add spice to the party and give guests direction when selecting gifts. Two ideas for shower themes are the alphabet party and the time of day party. For the alphabet party, each guest is assigned a letter of the alphabet and must bring a gift starting with that letter. For example, B = blender or BBQ utensils, P = pitcher or pillow- get the idea? The time of day party is another fun theme where guests pick an hour of the day and bring a gift corresponding to that time. For example, an 8:00 a.m. gift would be a breakfast tray or toaster. A variation of this idea is the month of the year party where guests are assigned a month and bring gifts appropriate to that time. It's a nice way for the bride to receive gifts for use yearround. For co-ed parties where the groom and other men will be in attendance, a home improvement party is ideal. Guests bring gifts for either the groom or bride. The honeymoon theme is also popular at showers if the couple has selected their destination.

Finishing touches for the bridal shower might include food and music. If the shower has a small number of attendees, consider a sit-down luncheon with table decorations and folded napkins to help set a festive atmosphere. If an informal home gathering is the setting, consider finger foods or dessert trays.

No matter what theme you choose for the bridal shower or if you choose to go without a theme, the element of surprise will serve to enhance the event.