Media pratfalls
Rob Price

Tuesday evening, as the New Hampshire polling stations were getting ready to close, I sat down with my wife to eat dinner, and my wife said: "Guess what. 'The Pink Panther' is on TV tonight."

"The New Hampshire primary votes also are coming in," I said, cutting a piece of meat and chewing it thoughtfully.

I felt an old, familiar tension in our relationship. It's the same tension that arises when I point out the Steelers will be playing on national television and my wife says something like, "Do you plan to watch the entire game?"

"You don't want to watch a bunch of election returns, do you?" my wife said.

Well, I explained, in a word: Yes. Because, like, I'm a journalist. And the New Hampshire primary election results fall under the category of Events to be Watched by Journalists.

My wife stared at me as I listed the excellent reasons I should watch the election results instead of "The Pink Panther." When I got to the end of my thoughts, I considered the expression on her face, then said: "Okay, I can watch the election news after the movie."

I figured a 90-minute movie would take up the time needed for the national media to sort through the initial vote counts, come to a few tentative conclusions. Maybe the candidates would make their victory and concession speeches around 10 p.m.

And besides, all the polls had already forecast the winners. It would be Barack Obama in a landslide over Hillary Clinton, and John McCain looked ready to trounce Mitt Romney. Most of the excitement had already occurred. The only thing left to watch was Hillary Clinton making her second concession speech in a week, and then biting someone.

"Sure," I said. "Let's watch 'The Pink Panther.'"

We watched Peter Sellers, as Inspector Clouseau, match wits with David Niven, who plays the ace cat burglar Sir Charles Litton in this first of the "Pink Panther" series. Watching Inspector Clouseau stumble through his investigation, tripping over stairways and even a violin, reminded me of something I couldn't place my finger on. Then, as the movie reached its conclusion, I realized he reminded me of your basic national media correspondent: the sort of guy who calmly explains the world to us while, figuratively, walking into a door.

The national media equivalent of any one of Inspector Clouseau's pratfalls was the media's confident prediction early this week that Barack Obama, having niftily dispatched Hillary Clinton in the Iowa caucuses, would slaughter Clinton in the New Hampshire primaries.

The media cited polling by professional polsters who, in retrospect, decided to use bird entrails instead of interviews with human beings for their polling predictions. The media also pointed to Hillary's now famous tearing up while answering a question in a New Hampshire coffee shop as evidence

she was about to crack (I watched the incident on Youtube and had the uneasy feeling I was watching a master crocodile at work). Donna Brazile, Al Gore's campaign manager in 2000, took another swipe at the Clinton machine, suggesting former President Clinton's "fairy tale" rant against Obama was one more piece of evidence the Clinton machine had run out of oil. I wasn't so sure. What credibility does a campaign manager have whose candidate lost the election while winning the majority of the vote?

Fifteen minutes before the end of "The Pink Panther," our phone rang: It was my parents calling to announce Clinton had clobbered Obama. "You never know what voters are going to do," said my 82-year-old mother. "Personally, if any of those pollsters asked me who I planned to vote for, I'd lie." My mother does not remind me of Inspector Clouseau.

My wife and I watched the end of "The Pink Panther," then I switched the channel to CNN in search of more pratfalls. Jon King was talking about ways Obama could still slay the Hillary dragon before the night was out, but it was a losing battle - both for media credibility and the senator from Illinois.

Now we're in for an actual primary election fight - at least until Feb. 5, the so-called Super Tuesday, when half the known universe casts primary ballots. In a week or so, I'm sure the media elite will have forgotten how they blew the call on New Hampshire and will be making completely new predictions.

Watch carefully, if you're interested. Somewhere someone will be falling down a set of stairs.