Super something or other

Rob Price

Say what you will about Super Bowl hype, you have to admit Sunday's big game was as exciting as it gets. Especially that tremendous play Eli Manning made at the end of the fourth quarter, the one where he eluded the entire front line of the Patriots' defense, then threw that amazing pass to Hillary Clinton, who caught the ball on her helmet!

Wait, wait. My wife just informed me Hillary Clinton was nowhere near the Super Bowl, because she was campaigning in a different contest called Super Tuesday. Sorry. I get confused. There are just too many super things going on these days. Super Bowl, Super Tuesday. What's the difference?

If you're like me, you may be confused too. In the old days, we used to scatter the primary elections over half a year, and they were easier to follow. Then some time ago, and I'm not sure when exactly, we set up this big hoopla called Super Tuesday and scheduled it for two days after the Super Bowl. Or was it the other way around, and the NFLdecided to schedule the Super Bowl two days before Super Tuesday? I mean, didn't they used to hold the Super Bowl in mid-January?

Here's something else that confuses me. Everybody and their grandmother - even the grandmothers who don't follow professional football - expected New England to crush the Giants. Then along comes Eli Manning and a couple of Hail Mary passes, and the Patriots are toast. That part is okay, but don't forget: A few months ago, Hillary Clinton was supposed to win the Super Bowl - I mean Super Tuesday - in a walk. Then along comes Eli Manning - I mean, Barack Obama, which is a pretty good name for a professional football player, if you think about it - and Barack sort of - intercepts - all these votes that were headed in Clinton's direction as she sprinted downfield. The crowd goes wild!

Personally, I think the guys who run the NFLare working as consultants for the guys who run the primary elections. Or the guys who run the primary elections are moonlighting for the NFL. It makes sense, when you think about it:

NFLGuy: Well, we've found that a football game is more exciting when the score is close and the lead changes a couple of times at the end of the game.

Primary Election Guy: That's an interesting idea. Maybe we can stretch out our presidential campaigns for, like, three years, and let the leading candidate change every couple of weeks. We could do polls that show one candidate is in the lead, then change that all around when folks cast their actual votes. It can get really exciting!

NFLGuy: You might even make a little money.

Primary Election Guy: Yeah, maybe we could charge the networks a flat fee for covering the election.

Obviously, I'm on to something. This particular presidential campaign started the day after the 2004 presidential election, and the media's coverage has focused mostly on who's in the lead. Any discussion of an actual issue has been a sort of afterthought. So is that cool, or what? Let's ignore the fact the country is struggling in the Middle East, a place most journalists could not locate on an unmarked map. And let's ignore the fact the economy is on the verge of a recession, a concept that troubles journalists because journalists have trouble balancing their check books, much less understanding economics. Let's focus instead on who's ahead by a nose.

The irony is, we still don't know which Democrat is winning (and let's face it, the Democratic contest is the really big show, since Rudy Giuliani placed himself on the injured reserve list). Hillary and Barack both claim they won the all important contest for delegates, and as I understand it, the jury is still out on this issue. The Associated Press has its own method for calculating delegate counts; the New York Times and Wall Street Journal have their own methods as well. No one agrees on the specific number.

But we can all agree that it's shaping up to be a really exciting contest, even though the Super Bowl failed to produce a clear leader. Next week, we'll have primary elections in Washington D.C. Maryland and Virginia, and those will be very, very important, although don't ask me why. Somebody said so on CNN. I heard it while I was cheering for Eli Manning in the fourth quarter of Super Tuesday.