A treacherous marital minefield
Rob Price

My wife is of the opinion it's difficult to oppose the candidacy of Hillary Clinton without being opposed to women's rights in general. This has led to a number of interesting conversations in our household, a fairly fraught political drama in which I play the role of man and my wife plays the role of woman.

Here's an example:

Me: I wouldn't vote for Hillary Clinton if she were the last person on earth!

My wife: You only say that because she's a woman.

Me: Nonsense. I just disagree with her position on standardized testing in higher education.

This is an over-simplification of our typical conversation. The fact is, I can imagine a number of circumstances under which I'd vote for Hillary. It's just that I can imagine a number of circumstances under which I'd vote for somebody else.

All the same, it's not difficult to pick up a strong element of irrationality - if not outright misogeny -- in the criticisms of Hillary Clinton. It's never enough just to cite one of Hillary's political positions - say, her vote in support going to war in Iraq. The Hillary critic generally goes one step further and cites her Iraq war vote as evidence of a larger, tragic character flaw.

Most criticisms of Hillary tend to focus on her character, instead of her politics. Here's a typical thrust from the culture-vulture critic Camilia Paglia: "She is a brittle, relentless manipulator with few stable core values who shuffles through useful personalities like a card shark ("Cue the tears!"). Forget all her little gold crosses: Hillary's real god is political expediency. Do Americans truly want this hard-bitten Machiavellian back in the White House?"

And if HIllary critics don't feel inclined to plumb her psyche, they have plenty of other targets to shoot at, beginning with her husband. Here's the columnist Dick Morris: "Make no mistake about it: If Hillary Clinton is elected president, her husband will be her rogue co-president, causing constant chaos, crises and conflicts for her new administration."

Hating Hillary is so common the phenomenom itself has become a subject for cultural study. In a recent issue of GQ, one writer called Hillary "an empty vessell into which (critics) can pour everything they detest." Writing in the New York Times, Stanley Fish calls Hillary hatred "a self-replenishing, perpetual-energy machine. The closest analogy is to anti-Semitism."

So it's possible my wife is on to something. Is it completely coincidental one of the most controversial leading candidates for the presidency is a woman? Probably not. The feminist argument is this: Imbedded within the typical man's disliking of Hillary Clinton is a basic hostility to her woman-ness.

This makes most marital arguments regarding Hillary complicated and delicate. Given the likelihood the Democratic primary is going to be a drawn-out process, climaxing possibly in a floor fight at the Democratic Convention, married men who (a) prefer Barack Obama and (b) are married to women who prefer Hillary could probably use some sophisticated marital counseling to get them through the next six months.

Men, here are some tips.

Pretend you're independent. When your wife asks you whether you plan to vote for Hillary, or are you just another woman-hating fascist, try saying the following: "Actually, my love, I forgot to tell you I registered Independent a year ago. Frankly, I admire all the candidates - even Mike Huckabee - and just haven't made up my mind."

Here's another possible approach: Lie. "When your wife asks you if you plan to vote for Hillary, say something like: "Of course I plan to vote for Hillary. While I have some concerns regarding certain neurotic features of her personality, not to mention her inclination to bite people who disagree with her, I believe her extensive experience cleaning up after her crazy husband more than qualifies her for the White House."

There's a reason for the secret ballot.

Of course, it's always possible for politically divided spouses to discuss the merits of Hillary and Barack in a rational manner. My wife and I, for example, have enjoyed several in-depth discussions of the Democratic candidates. The funny thing we've noticed is, it's impossible to slide a piece of paper between Hillary and Barack when it comes to political philosophy. This has led to friendly exchanges such as:

Me: Obviously both of them would make adequate, if not excellent presidents.

My wife: I love the way you lie.