There's always golf
Rob Price

These must difficult times for Democrats who, one year ago, could not imagine a scenario in which a Republican might win the White House in 2008.

Within the party, tensions between old friends are running high. According to a recent poll, one in five Democrats supporting Hillary Clinton say they would vote for Republican John McCain if Hillary does not receive the Democratic nomination. The same poll found one in five Democrats who support Barack Obama vowing to vote for McCain if Barack does not win the nomination. Did some high ranking Democrat forget to circulate the annual Party Discipline Memo this year?

Political veterans are talking resignedly of the mother of all floor fights at the Democratic Convention, as Obama and Clinton use every trick in the book to reach the magic number of 2024 delegates. The Democrats' super delegates - the independent delegates who would break the impasse between Hillary and Barack - must be bracing for a fearful arm twisting.

Now, I have a more sensible suggestion.

I think we should let Hillary and Barack settle the contest with a game of golf.

This is the time of year when the thoughts of all good people turn to golf. In another week, the 2008 Masters will kick off the year's four major golf tournaments. Inquiring minds will tune in to see whether Tiger Woods gives himself a shot at the grand slam of golf: The Masters, The U.S. Open, The British Open and The PGA Championship, which no one has ever swept in a single season.

With spring bringing out the azalea blossoms at Augusta, it can't be far behind for the Southern Tier. Within weeks, the golf courses in western New York will emerge from their winter slumber, and golfers will pull their drivers from their golf bags, believing in spite of all evidence to the contrary they somehow learned how to hit a straight drive during the winter.

Some eager golfers have even gotten an early jump on the season. A week or so ago, a friend and I played nine holes of virtual golf inside a computerized golfing room tucked away in a secret location I am not in a position to reveal. We played the front nine at Pebble Beach. It also played us, drawing our golf balls over and over into a computerized image of the Pacific Ocean. Kersplash! Golf is a game that will humble you.

Surely we could use a humble president.

Golf brings out the best in people and exposes their worst - a little bit like the American presidency, but you get to wear white pants when you play golf. Cheating is frowned upon in golf, although most of us cheat in many ways. But there is always the story of the professional who calls an extra stroke on himself because he accidentally touched the ball with his sand wedge while taking his address in a sand trap. Nobody saw him do it;

the traditions of golf simply call for good sportsmanship.

We could use a little more sportsmanship in our presidential campaigns. No, Sen. Clinton, you may not improve your lie. Sen. Obama, would you please stop talking about the audacity of hope and just hit the ball? President Clinton, would you please stop throwing pine cones at Sen. Obama? No, Rev. Wright, we'd rather not hear your opinions about golf right now.

Settling the issue of the Democratic nomination with a golf match would also provide gripping news coverage far superior to the endless drivel we hear from the gang at CNN. There are some who wonder why anyone would want to watch a golf tournament on TV, thinking it would be more interesting to watch grass grow. But I have spent a few summer afternoons watching the grass grow in my backyard, and I can promise you: watching Tiger Woods hole a chip at Augusta's 16th hole is all about thrills.

So picture this: The Democratic Convention goes into recess for a day, and the whole country tunes in to watch Hillary and Barack tee off. And at the end of the day, a final resolution on the 18th green. And further resolutions on the 19th.

The only alternative I can think of is a duel. Pistols at dawn. Probably bad for the national image, which has suffered enough.